


For John

by ConsultingCommunist



Series: The Unsent Letters of Sherlock Holmes [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Gen, Post Reichenbach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 15:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConsultingCommunist/pseuds/ConsultingCommunist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A letter Sherlock would never send to John, saying everything he never could.</p>
            </blockquote>





	For John

To my best and only friend,

People are difficult. Love is nearly impossible. Caring is a weakness, and affection is a vulnerability. But I still have all of these for you, because I’m too childish to give up my heart even though the cons obviously outweigh the pros. 

I’m a logical person; I know I’m only condemning myself to failure by loving you. But there’s nothing I can truly do to stop it. I enjoy having control, enjoy being smarter and more knowledgeable than anyone around me, but in this I am unprepared; I have no knowledge of the heart and its whims. I look with disgust upon love stories and sappy movies, yet I find myself wondering if a token of my affection would put a smile on your face. All these things and more run through my mind on an all too often basis these days, and I wish they would stop.

I’ve lost you, lost you to the woman who took you in when I left. I let my heart become the death of me, almost literally. You’ve moved on, and you’re happy again. What would my return bring you at this point? You’re still smiling without having to chase me down a dark alley, and you’re still looking upon someone with awe and affection that isn’t me. I’m not the one you love. I was just someone you knew, a placeholder until she came into your life.

You once asked if you were just filling in for my skull so that I could have someone to talk aloud to on cases. Well it turns out that I was only filling in for your cane, supporting your psychosomatic limp. I heard it came back when I left. I also heard that it started easing up when you met her. While the fact that it still remains without me by your side should be encouraging, it’s not. It just makes sense; a domestic and tranquil life isn’t your style, so naturally your leg would still yearn for the excitement and the heat of battle. She can’t give that to you, but it’s too late for me to come and rescue you from that type of life.

You needed someone to love, and I wasn’t the right person. I was too cold. I’m sorry. I hope your marriage is long and blissful. I’ll just watch you smile and be happy for you, because I know this is what you want.

Sincerely,  
Your Former Flatmate


End file.
